#Machine ab crunch

[monstersinthecosmos]

plz where's that post that's like not now daddy kitten has a banging headache rn and needs you to stop being so needy

I think it’s in the book actually

[indigosunsetao3]

You walk past the new gym every morning to see four extremely large, intimidating men working out. You saw it on accident one morning, but since then, you’ve made it a habit to walk that way to work. Seeing them sweat, push one another for one more rep, and challenge each other makes something in your stomach squirm.

You tell yourself you’re being a creep, that this will be the last time. But then, as if the universe heard you trying to take away the highlight of your day, you see a sign up paper in the window. One free month.

A month wouldn’t hurt.

You could just walk on the treadmill and watch them. Get the fantasies and thoughts out of your head, then slip away into the night. Like the stalker you were.

You sign up using the QR code with your phone and show up the next morning. It’s strangely empty except for your the four men were there. Already deep in their workouts, with towels tucked in their shorts or tossed over shoulders. Sweet dripping down their backs and faces as they do yet another set of pull ups.

Staking claim to a treadmill, you get to walking, doing your best not to downright stare now that you have an uninterrupted view. It’s difficult, especially when the grunts and pants of exertion make your toes curl.

They don’t pay you too much mind the first few days. But then the biggest, and scariest, of the four approaches you, and asks why you never use any of the other equipment. You stammer out your lack of knowledge or skill and he shushes you saying he’ll show you himself.

You don’t question him or try to tell him no. You feel silly as you learn on the lightest weights as they lift barbells stacked to your body weight like it’s nothing. Your exact weight, actually. Weird.

Week two, Kyle, as he introduces himself, notices you limping a bit. Bit stiff getting on and off the equipment and groaning as you stand. He offers to help you stretch properly. Laying you out on the floor and bending you this way and that. Getting you to groan and sigh in relief as his palms brace your thighs.

Week three, Johnny has you watching him to perfect your form. He asks you to look at how straight his back is in a push-up and feel how his abs move on the standing crunch machine. Then he has you doing the same moves with his hands across your abdomen and back, making sure your core is tight. He grips you a bit hard as you fight to get that last push up grunting from the effort.

By the time your last free week rolls around, you're beginning to question your plan. This was supposed to be a month of getting these guys out of your system. A month of all the fantasies your heart could desire, then walking away. But you don’t want it to end. And it seems they don’t want it to finish either. John approaches you with an offer to continue your trial. You tell him you can’t afford it, not even knowing the price, you can’t take on another expense.

John insists it’s okay. He says he talked to the manager and worked out a deal. You’re making such progress, and they’d miss the company if you left. They need more people using the gym to attract customers anyway.

Which, you realize, is just you and these four guys. There are never any other patrons there. You assumed it was because of how early you’d all work out. But even in the evenings on your way home the space is barren. No one using the equipment and the lights dim.

You agree, sheepishly.

John gives you a wicked grin and a form that oddly has all your information on it already. You just need to read it over, so you start going through all the boring legal parts. But you can feel them all staring as you go paragraph by paragraph. Johnny is standing right next to you with a pen, eager and all smiles. The pressure makes you flip to the last page and just sign. It’s not like they could lock you into something that bad, right? It’s just a gym membership.

“Now the real training begins,” Simon states quietly, pulling the ten page contract out of your hands as Kyle pulls the blinds and flips the lock.

[a-leg-without-fear]

Entre, Rouge🩸🔥

this is very silly

Ship: Logan Howlett x Mutant!Fem!Reader 🩸

Rating: 18+

Wordcount: 666

Warnings: story is told from Wade's perspective. need i say more?

Phew!

Okay, that last Wolverine didn’t quite work out. Several stab wounds in the shape of adamantium kebabs aside, I just wasn’t a fan of his vibe. The puffy hair, the leather ensemble, and the missing hand? No thank you. I’d like an intact Wolverine with access to a shower and a hairbrush to help repair my universe.

I sat on the log I once shared with the extremely-departed Logan. Lots of blood and guts spilled everywhere, pieces of TVA agents and metal bones strewn about the snow, thick snowflakes falling through the naked trees and onto my illustrious red suit.

Oh, I should probably introduce myself.

The name’s Wilson. 

Wade Wilson. 

Wade Winston Wilson. 

Doctor… Esquire. 

Also known as the ever sexy and permanently alive Deadpool. Sure, I look like the gum-covered underside of a highschool desk, but it doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop in my quest to fix my universe and save my friends. Like Lancelot and his Holy Grail, I’m going to find a Logan and shove him into my timeline until he fits. Or do whatever happens in that story.

The little dimension doohickey I nabbed from discount Mr.Darcy sat in my gloved hand. Lots of retro graphics and shiny buttons made it look like a flip phone, but fancier. I was scrolling through universes to try and find my next target.

“420? No, I don’t think I want pothead Logan. 69? Now that’s just too obvious,” I muttered with a laugh while flipping through universes. The numbers scrolled by like etch-a-sketched fruit in a slot machine. Except without the pants-tightening excitement of winning a jackpot.

My yearning for walking through rows of old geezers sitting in their own piss puddles while mindlessly playing the slots was overtaken by a fascination in the universe that filled the screen. Confetti exploded in my head like an edged bottom who’d held out as long as he could.

“Bingo!” I said, jumping up from my spot on the crumbling log. My fabulous boots made a nice crunching sound as I walked through blood-stained snow.

Earth-80085.

The Legiverse.

A universe filled to the brim with horror, trauma, copious sex scenes, and hyperfixations switching faster than Nosferatu fiddling with his light switch. You know the one.

I jammed the “go” button on the doohickey and a huge portal appeared in front of me. Orange, glowey, translucent, door shaped. Kinda looked like jello if you squinted.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” I asked myself, naïvely, ��I’ll get burst like a blood-filled water balloon by Leg’s OC of the week? Nah, she wouldn’t do me like that.”

Taking in one last chilly breath of determination, I skipped through the portal.

What I was not expecting to step into was a bedroom.

Pale green curtains blocking out any sunlight, wooden walls with cutesy pictures, cat towers and toys scattered on the carpeted floor. And…

Is that… moaning?

My head whipped in the direction of that delicious sound. Rumpled and soaked sheets, wooden headboard slamming into the wall behind it, bed creaking under the rapid movement.

And there, tangled together in the way God definitely didn’t intend, were you and Logan. Him driving into you, toned abs flexing with each thrust and fluffy hair bouncing, with you squirming and moaning beneath him. Logan’s rough hands felt along your lucky hips.

“Damn,” I whispered. Why did you get to have all the fun? Can’t I get a little Lo-Lo action?

I hung my head, disappointed, as I pressed the “leave” button on the doohickey. It wasn’t fair! Readers get to fuck whoever they want, however they want, whenever they want. They even fuck me on a regular basis! And where does that leave poor Deadpool? Either in another fanfiction or taking care of myself the ol�� fashioned way.

Ignoring the growing discomfort in my rather-flattering pants, I stepped back through the stupid doorway to continue my search.

Why are all the good ones fucking, crucified, killing me, or Henry Cavill?

i got drunk and watched the third "night at the museum." this popped in my head while watching hugh be a silly man

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[zahmaddog]

The Bad Batch Workout Split

I'm a bit of an intense gym-goer. Anime, live-action characters, and other animations have really inspired me to go above and beyond what I thought I could do. Clone Force 99 inspires me so much! They're all so fit, have different advantages, skills, and physical strengths. For fun, I created a workout split based on each of the modified clones. I hope you enjoy it! There’s a bit of a fanfic element to it as each Bad Batcher describes their favorite workout routine:)

(Part 2)The Bad Batch Workout - The Frat Boy Days Edition

Wrecker - Legs

Wrecker never skips leg day. Whether he's on a mission or with Gonky in the back of the ship, he's always training! Wrecker encourages you to train safely! He says to feel free to train until failure on machines, but to pick a weight you'll be safe with on the free weight work.

Leg Extension - 2 sets of 15

Hamstring Curl - 2 sets of 15

Deadlifts - 3 sets of 6-8

Leg Press - 3 sets of 10-12

Smith Machine Split Squats - 2 sets of 6-8

Gonk Carry (Sandbag Carry) - 3 reps; set a distance you’re comfortable with.

The Daily Bad Batch Burner Finisher (see below)

Crosshair - Push & Shoulders

Crosshair is built to carry his gear and Firepuncher 773 up mountains, towers, and more. His shoulders are strong to sustain his sniper work and throw enemies in close hand-to-hand combat. He suggests getting someone like Echo to spot you so you can work harder, but if you're going it alone, be smart and hang out with the Smith machine.

Incline Press - 3 sets of 10-12

Bench Press - 3 sets of 10-12

Shoulder Press - 3 sets of 10-12

Delt Raises - 3 sets of 10-12

Farmers Carry - 3 reps; set a distance you’re comfortable with

The Daily Bad Batch Burner Finisher (see below)

Hunter - Back & Abs

Hunter knows he has an amazing back to waist ratio and maintains a steady back routine to maintain it. To build out your back, he suggests warming up your abdominal muscles first, then heading straight into heavy rowing work.

Cable Crunch - 3 sets till failure

T-Bar Row - 3 sets of 6-8

Assisted Pull Ups - 3 sets of 10-12

Cable Lat Pulldown (Palms in) - 3 sets of 10-12

Cable Row (Narrow) - 3 sets of 10-12

The Daily Bad Batch Burner Finisher (see below)

Tech - Full Body + Cardio

Tech may be all brains, but you have to give credit where it's due: the guy is built. He'll climb up vertical surfaces with Echo on his back, overpower enemies with a broken femur, and perform fantastic movements to protect others. Tech suggests performing heavy compound movements to work multiple muscle groups at once and mastering your own body weight. At the end, listen to a podcast, music, or show; or if you can maintain focus and a higher heart rate, read a book.

Assisted Chin Ups - 3 sets of 10-12

Hexbar Deadlifts - 3 sets of 10-12

Barbell Squats - 3 sets of 10-12

Assisted Pull Ups - 2 sets of until failure

The Daily Bad Batch Burner Finisher (See Below)

Entertained cardio - 45 minutes

Omega - Arms & Accessories 

She may be the little sister, but Omega is a straight up badass and her brothers know it. She's getting used to performing compound movements with her brothers, but enjoys working on accessory movements as it's time for her to focus on herself in the gym and get away from all the "bro" noise.

Calf Raises - 3 sets of 10-12

Preacher Bicep Curl - 3 sets of 10-12

Tricep Pushdown - 3 sets of 10-12

Hammer Curl - 3 sets of 10-12

Front Raises - 3 sets of 10-12

Shrugs - 3 sets of 10-12

The Daily Bad Batch Burner Finisher (see below)

The Daily Bad Batch Burner Finisher

Clone Force 99 has exceptional grip strength and endurance. Here's the burning finisher for the end of each workout. If you don't have access to battle ropes, any free weight arm movement can replace it.

Each exercise till failure x3

Battle Rope 

Pushups

Static Hang

Clone Force 99 says good luck on your training. You'll need it.

[the-writerwoman]

So my baby kept me awake last night and I had that 4am brain hit.

Here we have Wade accidentally getting into a deal for his soul for 4 wishes by a Demon Logan. Yay!

Hope you enjoy. Definitely nobody try and convince me to write the fic. That would be terrible 😬

———————————————————-

Wade paced around the warehouse, crunching glass underfoot as he gestured wildly at the glowing summoning circle. “Okay, let me get this straight, kitty-cat demon guy—Logan, right? You’re telling me these robe-wearing weirdos summoned you, and because I had the gall to show up, shoot first, and ask questions later, the whole deal got dumped on me?”

Logan, still standing in the middle of the circle, arms crossed, sighed. His hazel eyes, which had only just calmed from their previous fiery red glow, fixed on Wade with a mixture of irritation and curiosity. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

Wade threw his hands up. “So now I have a literal demon butler with abs for days, and I get—what was it? Four wishes?”

“Yes,” Logan said, his tone clipped. “Four wishes. No catch. No consequences. Whatever you want, you get.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Wade said, spinning around to face him. “You’re telling me I can wish for anything, and I mean anything, and it’s mine? No monkey’s paw bullshit? No ironic punishments?”

Logan gave him a level look. “No strings attached. You wish, you get. That’s the contract.”

Wade’s jaw dropped. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“And you have to protect me while this deal is active?” Wade asked, stepping closer, his grin growing wider.

Logan’s expression didn’t shift. “Yes. Until the contract is complete, I’m bound to you. Your safety is my responsibility.”

Wade’s grin turned into a full-blown beam. “Oh, man, this is the best day ever. I just went from solo mercenary with trust issues to having my own personal demon bodyguard. Who looks like a model, by the way, seriously, what gym do demons use, and how do I sign up?”

Logan arched an eyebrow. “You’re disturbingly excited for someone who just learned they have to give up their soul.”

Wade shrugged, pacing around Logan like a man appraising a fancy sports car. “Eh, what do I even use it for anyway? Besides, I’ve made it this far without being attached to it. And you said I can wish for literally anything, so I’m pretty sure I can make the next… however long I’ve got worth it.”

Logan’s hazel eyes followed Wade’s movements. “You’re taking this a lot better than most mortals.”

“Buddy,” Wade said, stopping in front of Logan and tapping a finger on his own chest. “I’m not most mortals. You’re stuck with me, and we’re gonna have a blast. But seriously, you’ve gotta tell me, what are the limits here? Can I wish for, like, a solid gold taco truck? Or do I have to stick to boring stuff, like eternal youth and mountains of cash?”

Logan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “There are no limits. You can wish for anything. And yes, I have to make it happen.”

“No limits?” Wade’s eyes lit up. “Oh, I am so going to abuse this.”

Logan’s lips twitched, his stoic mask cracking just enough to reveal a hint of amusement. “Why am I not surprised?”

Wade wagged a finger. “Hey, hey, no sass from you, demon guy. You’re the one who got summoned. I’m just the lucky bastard who showed up at the right time.”

“Or the wrong time,” Logan muttered, though there was no real heat in his voice.

“Wrong time?” Wade smirked. “Buddy, I just hit the jackpot. Four wishes, no consequences, and I get to keep you around until I use them? This is a win.”

Logan crossed his arms again, towering over Wade. “You’re forgetting one thing.”

“Oh? What’s that?” Wade asked, his grin not faltering.

“When the wishes are used up, your soul is mine. No exceptions, no delays.”

Wade’s grin turned mischievous. “Yeah, yeah, the whole ‘eternal damnation’ thing. I’ll worry about that when I get there. For now, I’ve got a demon bodyguard-slash-wish-granting machine and a world full of possibilities. You’re stuck with me, Logan. And I promise, it’s gonna be fun.”

Logan tilted his head, a small, dangerous smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “We’ll see.”

Wade clapped him on the shoulder, completely unfazed by the smirk—or the supernatural strength he could feel beneath Logan’s calm exterior. “We sure will. Now let’s get out of this creepy warehouse and grab some food. Do demons eat? Wait, let me guess—you’re more of a rare steak kinda guy. Or do you just, like, suck the energy out of people or something?”

Logan sighed. “This is going to be a long contract.”

“And the best one of your life,” Wade quipped, practically bouncing toward the warehouse exit. “Let’s go, kitty-cat! Adventure awaits!”

Logan followed. “Unbelievable

[fratttymatty]

Broasis

(All characters are 18+)

The moment they stepped off the shuttle bus, something felt... off. The air smelled like Axe body spray and barbecue. The palm trees were shaped like flexing arms. A suspiciously enthusiastic staff member handed them Monster Energy drinks at the check-in kiosk, which had a wrestling match playing on loop behind it.

“Welcome, bro. You’re just in time for Abs & Ammo Night,” the receptionist said, flexing as he stamped their forearms with glowing tribal tattoos. “Mandatory attendance. Transformation’s on the house.”

“Haha, what?” Milo blinked. “Transformation?”

But Jaden had already taken a sip of the energy drink.

Milo woke up to the sound of bass-boosted Pitbull echoing from the bathroom. He groggily shuffled over, only to find a tall, tan, hourglass-figured woman in a neon bikini and wedge heels smacking on gum and applying glittery eyeshadow with militant precision.

“J-Jaden?” Milo squeaked.

“Oh my god, babe, it's Jayda now,” she said in a breathy valley-girl voice, adjusting her push-up top. “You seriously need a tan. You look like an undercooked dumpling.”

“What happened to you?! You were wearing a queer history museum shirt yesterday!”

Jayda just blew a bubble and popped it with a wink. “History is boring, babe. You coming to Booty Brunch or nah?”

Milo, horrified and deeply confused, staggered back — but as he turned, a blinding spotlight hit him.

That night, he made the mistake of wandering too close to the “Bro Generator” — a pulsing, dumbbell-shaped portal behind the protein shake bar. It hummed with masculine menace.

He felt the air thicken. His sandals melted into white sneakers. His tube socks reknitted themselves into calf-high Nike Elites. His glasses cracked and fell apart as his jaw squared, muscles swelled, and a deep voice rumbled from his newly bulked-up chest.

“Bro,” he muttered, blinking. “Yo. Dude.”

The transformation was total. Hair spiked. Eyebrows trimmed. Thoughts reorganized into a hierarchy of gains, sports stats, and inexplicable disdain for soy.

“Milo” was gone. In his place: Chad Tanner, varsity quarterback from nowhere in particular, defender of protein, slayer of carbs, passionate advocate of podcasts about "grindset mentality."

“Yo where’s my girl Jayda?” he barked into the night.

She emerged in slow motion from a smoke machine behind the beach bar, twirling a vape like a baton. “Baaaabe,” she purred. “You look so alpha now.”

They made out against a fireball that exploded behind them for no reason.

By the end of the week, Chad and Jayda had no memory of their old lives. They hosted a poolside podcast called Flex Appeal where they gave hot takes on gym etiquette and yelled about crypto. Chad wore backward visors, crushed beer cans on his forehead, and unironically said things like, “Feelings are for leg day.”

Somewhere deep inside him, a microscopic speck of Milo stirred — a vague sense of discomfort when he saw a chessboard, or the faint desire to wear glasses again — but it was quickly silenced by the crunch of another push-up.

Back home, their families received a single postcard:

“This place is lit. Never coming back. #NoCap #Blessed #ChadLife”

[jockdumboy]

big dumb jock tut

step 1: lift heavy, bro – don’t think, just lift

bro, dis still da most important part. lift heavy stuff erry day. no rest days, bro! no excuses. pick up heavy things, put ‘em down, repeat. simple.

jock lifts:

• bench prees: bro, da king of lifts. lay down, grab da big bar wit da weights on it, and push it up. don’t stop till ur chest feels like it’s on fire. big chest = alpha chest. boom.

• bicep curlz: grab sum heavy dumbellz, bro, and curl ‘em up to ur face. keep goin till ur arms feel like they gon fall off. big arms get all da respect, bro. curlz get da girlz, remember that.

• lat pulldownz: sit on da machine, bro, grab da bar, and pull dat thing down hard. feel dem wings growin on ur back. wings = dominance. don’t stop till ur back looks like u could fly away.

• legz (important now, bro): aight, bro, we gonna do sum squatz. grab da bar, put it on ur back, and squat down. do dis till ur legs feel like noodles, bro. big legz mean u can look good wearin da short shorts, plus u won’t fall over when ur chest gets too big. don’t skip leg day anymore, bro. trust me on dis.

• abs (gotta get da 6-pack, bro): do dem crunches, bro, like 100 at least. don’t stop till ur stomach feels like it’s about to explode. da 6-pack will come, just keep crunchin. it’s all about consistency, bro. plus, da ladies love da abs.

step 2: eat clean, bro – get shredded

bro, u can lift all day, but if u wanna be shredded, u gotta eat clean. no junk food, bro. clean food only, dat’s how u get shredded af.

simple bro diet:

• breakfast: 10 egg whites. no yolks, bro. da yellow stuff messes with da gains. and eat a banana, bro. bananas are good. den wash it down with a protein shake, always gotta have dat shake. protein is life.

• lunch: chicken, bro. lots of it. chicken is like da muscle food. maybe some rice if ur feelin’ fancy, but bro, rice is for marathon runners, not jock bros. and don’t forget another protein shake.

• dinner: more chicken, bro. chicken erry meal. or steak if u feel like it. steak is good too. maybe sum veggies like broccoli cuz broccoli makes u ripped, bro. i seen da big dudes eat it, so we eat it too. end da day wit another protein shake.

• before bed snack: big spoonful of peanut butta, bro. peanut butta got da good fats. plus, it’s delicious. wash it down wit another protein shake, bro. protein is errywhere.

step 3: look da part, bro – dress swole

u gotta dress like a jock bro if u wanna be one, bro. dat means tank tops, ripped sleeves, and da shortest shorts possible. show off da gains, bro.

bro style rules:

• tank tops: if ur tank top don’t show off ur nipz, it’s not tight enough, bro. show dem gains. u worked hard for ‘em.

• short shorts: since we do legs now, u gotta show ‘em off. da shorter da better, bro.

• backwards hat: always rock da hat backwards, bro. makes u look cool af, plus u can see urself flexin in da mirror better.

• sneakerz: just make sure they fresh, bro. u can’t roll into da gym lookin like a scrub. no sandals, bro. unless u got socks on, but dat looks dumb.

step 4: act like a jock bro – lifestyle moves

bein a jock bro ain’t just about liftin and eatin. it’s a way of life, bro. act like a jock bro errywhere u go.

bro rules to live by:

1. flex errywhere: if u see a mirror, bro, flex. don’t even think about it. just flex. people gotta know u swole. bathroom mirrors, car windows, store windows – all flex spots.

2. talk about liftin: u gotta talk about ur lifts erry convo. someone talkin about sumthin else? change it to how much u bench or how many reps u did yesterday, bro. lift talk = respect.

3. drink water from a gallon jug: u need a gallon jug of water, bro. carry it wit u errywhere. if u ain’t drinkin outta a gallon jug, people gon think u weak.

4. grunt loud at da gym: if u ain’t gruntin, u ain’t liftin hard enough, bro. da whole gym should hear u. u lift heavy, u grunt heavy. show ‘em who’s boss.

5. spot ur bros: always spot ur bro when he’s goin heavy. if he fails a rep, dat’s on u, bro. don’t let him down. bros always got each other’s backs.

conclusion: u got dis, bro

bro, if u do all dis, u gon be da biggest, most shredded jock bro in da world. just lift heavy, eat clean, drink protein shakes, and flex errywhere. it’s dat simple. don’t think too much, just do it. now go hit da gym, bro. let’s goooo!

[throneofrayllum]

Would that Jwct character work out?

Kenji: OBVIOUSLY. The core strength that man has for climbing is probably INSANE. Other than climbing, which is his main form of exercise, he does A LOT of weight training and calisthenics. Not a huge fan of running or cardio machines so when he wants to work on cardio he just does HIIT.

Sammy: YES. THIS WOMAN IS JACKED. A) she is constantly lifting heavy things because she's always at the farm B) she weight lifts at least four times a week. She also rides horses all the time (I have a headcannon that riding/training horses is kinda her part-time job)

Yaz: Yes and we've been known. I don't think she runs as much as she used to because of her ankle and the fact that she's not a track star anymore, but she still loves running. She goes on two 3-4 mile runs a week and one 10 mile run. She trains abs for like ten minutes after her short runs. Once a week she leads therapeutic yoga (when she was at her college island thingy ofc) ✨

Ben : For a long time he didn't. At first, his increased muscle mass was just because he started taking testosterone and he was like "wait i dig this" so then he started lifting weights. He goes about three times a week and then once a week just does a shit ton of push ups and crunches in his dorm. When he and Gia were at uni together she would jsut sit on the bed and twirl her hair while watching him. (cannon). He hates cardio. Gia will sometimes make him do Pilates with her and he hates it (he loves watching her tho so it cancels out how much he's suffering on the goddamn reformer)

Darius: Kinda. Goes to the gym like twice a week and casually lifts weights. Goes on runs twice a week to clear his head. Would rather be researching or playing video games but he knows it's good for him (and he likes having muscle definition). Loves hiking. Will pick a hike over the gym any day.

Brooklynn: eh. When she's really obsessing over a case no. I mean, she didn't have time for relationships, she def didn't have time to work out. When she is working out, she goes on runs (about 4 to 6 miles depending on the day). She has really good cardiovascular stamina so she can go weeks without working out and jump back into running like it's nothing. Not super into weight training, but will as some push ups or a quick ab workout to her day just to get it done. LOVES HOT GIRL WALKS AND HIKING. (hiking dates with darius 😏)

Soyona: Weight training, lots of it. Lots of Pilates and Cardio too. Her work outs really depend on how much time she has and where she is because she travels so much.

AND THEN THE HANDLER TRAINS FOR WAR OR SOEMTHING BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK. THAT WOMAN WAS DOIN PARKOUR.

[alternate-real-ities]

Hi. It would be interesting to know how you look into other universes? Do you have any kind of device or magical abilities? Can you demonstrate this on me?

Hey there, cutie 😉. Thank you for your intriguing question about how I perceive other universes and realities beyond our own. While I do not possess any magical abilities, I have developed a remarkable device that allows me to peer into the multiverse. My machine utilizes advanced quantum computing technology coupled with exotic matter as the energy source. It allows me to access specific realities with decent clarity by calibrating it carefully.

To demonstrate this capability for you, I would be happy to show you some alternate realities where you're still as stunning as you are now, only in a different way:

Here's a universe where you are instead Filipino. Here, your hair is a deep black with just the slightest hint of waviness at the top, framing your heart-shaped face perfectly. You possess a boyish face that makes anyone weak in the knees at first glance. When you smile, it's like seeing a whole world open up.

Your chest is smooth and flat, leading down to your soft belly and then tapering off into elegant legs that show little signs of hair. You are so small and delicate that it's hard to imagine that below all that innocence hides a deep lust for a big strong man to hold you up and do with you as he pleases.

-

Now, let's pay a visit to a previous dimension I like to call "Arab World". At the pinnacle of this society are the most perfectly engineered humans - those with Arab DNA that has been optimized through generations of careful selection, genetic tweaking and breeding to create individuals of unparalleled physical perfection and mental acuity. In this universe, you are an alpha of unparalleled might, your virility unmatched by any who have come before. You take great pride in your genetic superiority, knowing that no mere mortal could ever compare to your perfection.

You are blessed with a virile physique, muscular form sculpted by years of intense physical training. Your bulging chest and rock-hard abs speak to your boundless strength and vitality. In the gym at your lavish estate, you push yourself to the limits, determined to maintain peak condition.

But as much as you appreciate fine living and opulence, your true passion lies in power, conquest, and sexual domination of lesser beings. As an elite Arab alpha ruler, you take immense pride and pleasure in asserting your superiority over those beneath you, including your slaves.

-

To end this showcase gracefully, let me show you one last reality which might be my favourite. In this dimension, one of your parents is black, and as such you were born to become an handsome lightskin man.

You are an absolute fuckboy, and you wouldn't have it any other way. Your life is one endless string of parties, workouts, flirting, and fucking. You are utterly shameless about flaunting your body to anyone who will look. At the gym, you make sure every single rep is perfectly calibrated for maximum muscle growth. You strike poses, flexing and posing with a confident swagger that lets everyone know just how goddamn hot you are. The mirror loves you as much as you do.

Your nightlife consists of endless nights out on the town. You're always down to hit up the trendiest clubs in the city, the hottest bars, the flashiest parties. Your social media is filled with steamy selfies showcasing off your bodacious physique - pecs popping from tight tank tops, washboard abs glistening as you do ab crunches against a wall. Fans and admirers drool over every inch of exposed skin.

You are always on the prowl for a special someone to show off and bring home - some unsuspecting twink who can't resist getting lost in your world of pleasure and excitement. The way you touch them, caress their skin with lingering fingertips, leans into them with smoldering intensity - it's enough to make even the most experienced bottom moan like a bitch in heat.

-

These are just some examples of the diverse array of alternate realities that my machine allows me to access and observe from afar. Although, with the timeline converger project I'm currently working on, it may one day become possible for me to physically transform you as well if we both so desire.

As a side note, I'd like to thank you for your patience! I know I took a lot of time, but calibrating my machine takes quite some time if one wants to see realities that aren't as normal and boring as ours. I hope it was worth your time, because I'm sure it was worth mine 😉 See you next time!

[broodybelly]

#mpreg storytime

Jamie spent all his free time in the gym. It became his whole world. When he met Chris his world got turned upside down. He was on the ab crunch machine when Chris came up to him. The smell of Chris's cologne struck him like a ton of bricks. The sight of Chris' bulging biceps got him next, Jamie knew he would be stiff after his workout he didn't think he would be during. Chris asked how many sets he had left, Jamie could see Chris's biceps were not the only thing bulging. They spent the entire gym session together. And the next fifty, which always ended getting rather steamy in the showers.

Jamie obviously had been talking to Chris too much because it was expanding. Chris said it was a power belly because of how firm it was. Jamie was loving how much attention the belly was getting from Chris who couldn't keep his hands off it. It probably was just that he was incredibly bloated, because he was constantly feeling gas bubbles. Chris sometimes felt them and would laugh, "you've really got to change your diet man, something you're eating isn't agreeing with you." He'd then kiss where he felt the movement.

One day when Jamie was relaxing, watching Chris pumping iron, he felt the bubbles again but this time it felt different his whole belly shifted. Suddenly it all clicked. Jamie rubbed his bump and it all started to make sense. While Jamie logically thought he should be nervous about what the future had in store, Jamie was content in knowing Chris was going to be there with him.

[mattscoquette]

what’s your workout routine!! i’ve been going to the gym but i can’t tell if what im doing is affective

my gym routine ! ♡︎☆🎀 ࣪ ˖

i talk a lot about food, diet, exercise, and weight loss under the cut:)

i go to the gym minimum 5 days a week, this is my split:

𝐦𝐨𝐧: full body

𝐭𝐮𝐞𝐬: arms

𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐬: legs

𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐬: chest & back

𝐟𝐫𝐢: cardio & abs

𝐬𝐚𝐭 & 𝐬𝐮𝐧: active rest days

these are the exercises i do in order on the designated days! i also walk on the treadmill for thirty minutes at the end of my workout. pls remember to work to your fullest extent, but do not overdo yourself!!!! it's okay if you cannot do all of these the first time u try, do not compare your day 1 to someone's day 100

(most of these exercises are done on the machines - if there is any uncertainty how to perform these exercises pinterest and tik tok are very useful)

𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲

��୧ lat pull downs 4x12

୨୧ chest press 3x8

୨୧ bicep curls 3x10

୨୧ tricep curls 3x10

୨୧ leg press 3x12

୨୧ leg extension 2x12

୨୧ leg curls 2x12

୨୧ ab side twists 2x12 each

୨୧ ab crunches 3x10

୨୧ treadmill 30 mins

୨୧ stair master 15 mins

𝐛𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐬 & 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭

୨୧ rope pull down 3 mins

୨୧ bicep cable curls 3x10

୨୧ bicep extensions 3x12

୨୧ hammer curls 4x10

୨୧ bicep curls 3x12

୨୧ chest press 3x12

୨୧ butterfly 3x15

୨୧ hammer smith chest press 3x10

୨୧ dumbell incline dumbbell press 5x10

𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐬

୨୧ leg extensions 2x15

୨୧ leg press 4x12

୨୧ leg curls 2x15

୨୧ leg press weights 3x12

୨୧ calf extension 3x10

୨୧ back extension 3x10

୨୧ hip abduction 3x12

୨୧ glute abduction 3x12

୨୧ glue kick back machine 2x15 each

୨୧ bulgarian split squats 2x10 each

୨୧ hip thrusts 3x12

୨୧ rdls 4x10

୨୧ smith machiene squats 3x10

୨୧ stair master until fail (cover w/ sweatshirt)

𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐩 & 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤

୨୧ tri pull down 3x10

୨୧ straight arm pull down 3x12

୨୧ lat pull down 4x12

୨୧ triceps extensions 3x12

୨୧ lateral raise machine 2x15

୨୧ overhead triceps curls 3x10

୨୧ forward dumbbell raises 2x12

୨୧ seated cable row 3x15

୨୧ one arm dumbbell row 4x15

𝐚𝐛𝐬

୨୧ ab twist 4x12 each side

୨୧ ab crunch machine 3x10

୨୧ ab push 3x10

୨୧ ab pull down 3x10

୨୧ hammer strength crunches 3x12

୨୧ hanging crunches 3x10

repeat second half of this section twice

୨୧ plank until failure 2 each

୨୧ dumbbell side twists 2x15

୨୧ straight leg rises 3x12

୨୧ flutter kicks 30 sec each x2

୨୧ side toe taps 3x12

୨୧ bicycle kick 3x20

୨୧ stair master 15 mins

୨୧ treadmill 30 mins

some important things to take into consideration!!:

losing weight / seeing results takes time!! do NOT get discouraged and give up if you do not see immediate results, because it will not happen. u also need to be very aware of what you are eating throughout the day - u cannot outwork a bad diet. if you are not changing your food habits at all, you will most likely not see any results.

for me, i used weightwatchers for about four months last year while following this workout plan, and i lost about 15 lbs in that time! it is a $25/month subscription, but it really worked for me. another app i used to track what i eat is mynetdiary. it helps me keep track of how many calories i eat each day, and helps me stay in a deficit. this one is free and i really recommend it.

weight loss and exercise is different for everyone! the time will pass anyway, so why not just start. you do not need to be in the gym for 3 hours everyday and eating 500 calories a day. even something as small as taking a walk everyday and being aware of what you eat is a start.

just remember to be kind to urself always!! that is whats most important in all this. you can be disciplined and still practice self love.

[hroscek]

✎📃Dottore studying headcanons📚

Back again with more Dottore content. This is a bit of a mix between a modern au but still somehow compliant with Genshin? Idk I just wanted to write ab him studying and projecting finding inspiration in my own life without having to explain how he has access to YouTube in his akademiya days okay? Anyways enjoy and make sure to study if you happen to be procrastinating at the moment (I will know)!

⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜⚜

Dottore study headcanons

Probably the type that ultra-focuses on the material in front of him leading to generally neglecting any and all other needs until he physically can't anymore (nearly burnt down his dorm via hair catching fire from a candle when he fell asleep at the desk)

Thinks he's above attending lectures so he'd definitely be that one student that never shows up but still ends up acing the exams.

Fully believes that he must achieve a state of total focus to optimize his brain. This starts as threatening the other students into leaving him alone as he studies, drawing the curtains and shutting out all other distractions. Probably spent too much on finding a good noise-cancelling headset.

After getting kicked out gracefully parting ways with the akademiya he devoted some time to trying to find ways to improve his focus even more. I'm talking full blown rounds of experimentation with different methods such as binaural beats (actually works tbh), sensory deprivation tanks etc. Sort of how greater lord rukkhadevata would shut herself away to meditate, but he would never admit how similar their methods are.

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if the original Dottore is just floating in a state of meditation rn trying to achieve max brain power (legit a headcanon for me now lmao).

Seeing as he probably doesn't sleep much, especially when in the thick of experiments he tries his best to compensate in other ways. He drank an inhuman amount of coffee or energy drinks (or both at the same time tbh) until he grew a tolerance to all forms of caffeine and is now forced to actually sleep once in a while.

He is intimately familiar with is work area and instantly knows where everything is. To outsiders it looks like a mess of various documents, piles of paper, supplies and mechanical parts. Often he asks a new intern to fetch him a sheet or something and they'll spend hours looking for it in the raven's nest that man calls an office. Then he'll show up pissed as hell like "It was under the desk next to the 3rd used energy core. Are you really that stupid?".

When he's in the zone he's deathly silent, his eyes laser focused on whatever page or machine he's trying to figure out. An observer might be afraid he'll burn a hole trough the object with his eyes. This is probably the only time he doesn't wear his mask as he doesn't want anything to obstruct him. Archons couldn't help the unfortunate soul who dares to interrupt him in this state. Instant volunteer for his next experiment.

Pantalone once decided to gift him with an expensive stationery set in a desperate attempt to get him to organize his study. It included quills, ink, various highlighters and organizers all in pastels with cute motifs. "To bring some positivity to the gloomy atmosphere around you!". Dottore claimed to hate it but was seen months later using a kitten-themed notepad at one of his labs.

✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮

Another post, another slay (probs a flop). I'm currently taking a half-voluntary gap year because I decided to switch universities a little too late in the year oops. And honestly in this time I've realized how much I thrive in the academic environment and I miss studying so much! Idk might sound a bit too optimistic coming from someone who's currently not under any pressing deadlines or tests but I really do miss it. As much as I hated crunching the night before a test and stressed about the material I believe it's an environment I truly thrive in. I really do find such comfort in being able to take notes, discuss with classmates and professors. It's probably one of the many reasons I find Dottore relatable. We both share such a thirst for knowledge and focus way too much on our favorite subjects. I'm rambling, sorry. Thank you so much for reading and please don't be shy to send me asks or comments with ideas you'd like me to expand upon. I'm still pretty new to writing in fandom space so I'd really be grateful to get feedback and see what the community wants lol.

Have a good day! ❀

[skynniilegend]

Day 8 - Workout routine

Sooo I do around 10-15k steps on average daily. Once a week I have a dance class (1hour) and I try to walk as much as possible.i also randomly throw in cycling when I’m at the gym.

For my strength, I follow an upper lower split at the gym.

My main priorities are my glutes, hamstrings, back and abs. However, I train my whole body.

For lower body:

Either hip thrust OR deficit split squats on the smith machine (2 working sets bc they take a toll on your entire nervous system)

Seated hamstring curl 3x8-12

Leg extension 3x8-12 or leg press 3x8-12

Seated abduction machine 3x8-12reps

~Stretching for cooldown

Upper body:

Either chin ups (partially assisted w a band) or lat pull downs 3x8-12

Seated shoulder press machine (I’ve struggled w shoulder pain for almost 4 years and since I train my shoulders they no longer hurt!!) 3x8-12 reps

Chest supported rowing 3x8-12

Leg raises/weighted crunches 3x15-20/3x8-12

Pushups 3x 10-15

Dumbbell lateral raise 3x10-15

Deadhangs 3x Till failure

[freeonlineworkouts]

Core Workouts at the Gym

Core workouts at the gym are essential for building strength, stability, and endurance in your abdominal muscles, obliques, lower back, and hips. A strong core improves posture, enhances athletic performance, and reduces the risk of injury. Below is a comprehensive core workout plan you can do at the gym, using both equipment and bodyweight exercises.

Warm-Up (5-10 minutes)

Start with dynamic stretches or light cardio to prepare your core. Examples include planks, bird dogs, or a brisk walk.

Core Workout Plan

1. Compound Core Exercises (Engage Multiple Muscle Groups)

Cable Woodchoppers

Target: Obliques, transverse abdominis, and shoulders.

How to Do It:

Attach a handle to a cable machine at shoulder height.

Stand sideways to the machine, grab the handle with both hands, and pull it diagonally across your body.

Slowly return to the starting position.

Reps/Sets: 3 sets of 10-12 reps per side.

Landmine Rotations

Target: Obliques and core stability.

How to Do It:

Load one end of a barbell into a landmine attachment or secure it in a corner.

Hold the other end with both hands and rotate your torso from side to side.

Reps/Sets: 3 sets of 10-12 reps per side.

2. Isolation Core Exercises (Target Specific Areas)

Hanging Leg Raises

Target: Lower abs and hip flexors.

How to Do It:

Hang from a pull-up bar with your arms fully extended.

Lift your legs straight up until they are parallel to the ground, then slowly lower them back down.

Reps/Sets: 3 sets of 10-15 reps.

Cable Crunches

Target: Upper abs.

How to Do It:

Attach a rope handle to a cable machine at head height.

Kneel down, grab the rope, and crunch your torso toward your thighs.

Slowly return to the starting position.

Reps/Sets: 3 sets of 12-15 reps.

Russian Twists (Using a Medicine Ball or Weight Plate)

Target: Obliques and transverse abdominis.

How to Do It:

Sit on the floor with your knees bent, holding a medicine ball or weight plate.

Lean back slightly and twist your torso from side to side.

Reps/Sets: 3 sets of 20 twists (10 per side).

3. Stability and Functional Core Exercises

Plank with Shoulder Taps

Target: Core stability and shoulders.

How to Do It:

Start in a high plank position.

Tap your left shoulder with your right hand, then your right shoulder with your left hand, while keeping your hips stable.

Reps/Sets: 3 sets of 30-60 seconds.

Ab Wheel Rollouts

Target: Entire core and shoulders.

How to Do It:

Kneel on the floor with an ab wheel in front of you.

Roll the wheel forward, extending your body into a straight line, then pull it back to the starting position.

Reps/Sets: 3 sets of 8-12 reps.

Stability Ball Pike

Target: Lower abs and core stability.

How to Do It:

Start in a high plank position with your feet on a stability ball.

Lift your hips toward the ceiling, rolling the ball toward your hands.

Slowly return to the starting position.

Reps/Sets: 3 sets of 10-12 reps.

4. Burnout Finisher (Optional)

Mountain Climbers:

Start in a high plank position and alternate driving your knees toward your chest as quickly as possible.

Reps/Sets: 3 sets of 30-60 seconds.

Cool Down and Stretch (5-10 minutes)

Stretch your core, lower back, and hips to improve flexibility and reduce muscle soreness. Examples include:

Cat-Cow Stretch: On all fours, alternate between arching your back and rounding your spine.

Child’s Pose: Sit back on your heels and stretch your arms forward on the ground.

Seated Forward Fold: Sit with your legs extended and reach for your toes.

Tips for Success

Focus on Form: Proper technique is crucial to avoid injury and maximize muscle engagement.

Breathe Properly: Exhale during the exertion phase (e.g., when crunching or lifting) and inhale during the relaxation phase.

Progress Gradually: Start with lighter weights or easier variations, then increase intensity as you build strength.

Incorporate Variety: Rotate exercises to target all areas of your core and prevent plateaus.

Core

with Full-Body Workouts: Combine core workouts with exercises for other muscle groups for balanced strength.

This core workout plan is effective for building strength, stability, and endurance in your core muscles. Perform it 2-3 times per week, and pair it with proper nutrition and recovery for the best results!

[eryiss]

[Jet x Freed] Cubicle Capers - Chapter Five

Summary: Jet was meant to do more. He was meant to do something with his degree. He was meant to have a purpose. He'd taken a job at Grimoire Pharmaceuticals to work his way up into a lab position, but found himself stuck in a cubicle. Every day the same. At least he had a new boss coming. Freed Justine. He’d be like the rest, though. Boring, outdated and.. hot as hell?

Notes: The tension boils over, it’s time to get physical. Again, this was requested by @jethro-art.

Links: Ao3, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Epilogue

Chapter Five – The Shift

Jet

"So tell me old man," Jet began, voice dripping with condescension and arrogance. "I know that they didn't have electricity when you were a kid, but does it bother you that you're just so, so crap at playing video games?"

Freed stared Jet down with an unimpressed look. "You're two and a half years younger than me, Jet."

"That it, huh? Wow. You've aged terribly."

Jet loved making Freed laugh by insulting him. Freed was the kind of guy who could seemingly take any insult on the chin and laugh it off so long as he knew it was said in jest, and it was a very attractive quality. Jet loved a man who could laugh at himself, and the reluctant, slightly annoyed smile that Freed had long since stopped trying to hide away was a very handsome one indeed. It spoke of a self-assured man, as well as a promise of eventual retribution. Or maybe Jet was looking too far into it.

How would Freed take his retribution? Jet had to assume Freed had a vicious side. What would it be like to see that unleashed?

"You seem to forget that there's only three points between us, Jet," Freed said, voice smooth and promising something that Jet couldn't decipher. He very much wanted to find out what the promise was, though. "And out of the – what is it now, thirty-six? – thirty-six times we've done this, you've won exactly five times. Your record and your cockiness don't exactly tally."

"You know what does tally? The fact you're losing tonight, and I've got a hell of a forfeit in store for you."

"Oh I'm so terribly scared," Freed deadpanned.

Jet nudged him as they walked to the next arcades machine, a Tetris game that allowed two players to compete side by side. Not a good game for Jet, he always ended up absentmindedly playing with the joystick as the blocks were falling and sabotaged himself. A fun one, though. And one where Freed got cocky himself.

They'd been coming to the bar every Friday night after work for over half a year now, and it had long since been the part of Jet's week he looked forward to the most. They played every game, compared scores, and the loser did a stupid forfeit chosen by the winner. Jet typically lost. But that just made the victories better.

Having Freed walk into the office in a chicken morphsuit on a Monday morning without any explanations to the room had been perfect. Almost as perfect as when Jet walked in on him changing into his regular suit about five minutes later. He'd seen him without a shirt, abs crunched and biceps naturally bulging.

Fuck that was a good day. One of the best he'd had in years. Shame he didn't walk in a moment earlier and see if Freed wore boxers or briefs. He'd look good in either. Or without any underwear at all.

He'd also long since stopped caring about his crush on his boss. Freed was sexy, good fun, and the bright spot in Jet's life. Who cared if it was stupid?

Tetris, inevitably, was another victory for Freed. Jet knew he was likely to lose the entire game, and that Freed would have some perfectly respectable but entirely embarrassing task for him to compete when he eventually lost. Jet didn't care. He found it oddly thrilling to find himself at Freed's mercy again and again. He knew Freed wouldn't take anything too far. He would trust Freed with his life, so handing him his dignity on a silver platter just seemed to be second nature.

That, maybe, was a bit stupid. But Jet wasn't known for making good decisions. He was known for getting good results.

"So, tell me, you tedious creature," Freed emulated Jet's previous tone perfectly. "How does it feel to be so completely dominated at a game by a so-called old man? Demoralising? Humiliating? Earth-shattering?"

"You really think you play that big a role in my ego, huh?" Jet taunted, grinning. He didn't hide his grins around Freed like he usually did. It was nice to be so uninhibited.

"Oh, I know exactly how big a role I play in your ego, you little brat."

It would be funny, in retrospect, that this was the moment. The moment that Jet fell head over heals in love with Freed. Of course, in the moment he had no idea that it had happened. He had no idea that the sudden burst of adrenaline and dedication and hope was the makings of love. He had no idea that the little smiles that he'd been wearing for months now had been a precursor to love. He had no idea in that moment that his life had shifted so entirely in the best of ways.

But what he did know was, in that moment, Jet had had enough.

He turned to Freed, faced him straight on, and grabbed him by the tie. He pulled Freed into his space, grinned at the little exhalation he heard from so close, and planted a kiss onto Freed that had been months in the making.

Fucking Christ Freed knew how to kiss a guy.

He took no time in taking over from Jet, putting firm hands onto Jet's waist and turning them, pushing him into the Tetris machine and pinning him there with his hips. It was a kiss that rocked your core, that buckled your knees, and that got your cock hardening without giving you enough time to think. His hands were on Freed's chest, bunching up the fabric of his shirt, because fucking hell there was no way he was letting Freed away from this kiss.

Months. There had been months of staring at Freed, and little glances where he could swear Freed was looking back. Months of seeing the man behind the suit and tie, cocky and competitive and caring when he needed to be. Months of slowly feeling alive again, all because he had a man who set a fire inside of him. Months of falling for the man.

He'd realise that's what had happened later on. In that moment, all that mattered was Freed's lips on his, Freed's hands on his waist, Freed's thigh rubbing between his legs and against his semi.

"Jet," Freed gasped, lips kiss swollen and eyes a little hazy. "Is this a good idea?"

Jet didn't need to think. "Oh fuck yeah it is."

And Freed was kissing him again a moment later, so clearly he agreed with him.

———

Freed

The moment Freed's apartment door was closed, Freed had Jet pinned against it.

Jet was excellent to kiss. Thrilling and involved and just malleable enough to let Freed put him where he wanted. He kissed with his whole body, pushing up against Freed and setting him aflame. He cared little for dignity or image, and simply threw himself into it. He was focused solely on the pleasure, and dammit if Freed wasn't entranced by such a trusting, careless, sexy display.

If he were a better man, Freed might still be second guessing himself. But that one statement, that overtly enthusiastic call to arms, had been enough. Freed had taken Jet by the arm, dragged him to the nearest tram station, and hadn't been able to keep his hands off the man. On the tram, in the elevator, even as he was unlocking the door, Freed always had at least one hand on the man. Now they were in Freed's apartment, alone and horned up, and finally Freed was going to be able to indulge in the fantasies that had been slipping into his dreams for months.

"We doin' this against a door?" Jet asked, breathless and throaty. "Ain't complaining, but the handle's kinda diggin' into my back."

Fucking Jet against the door would be wonderful. He'd be rough with it, and he knew that he could make Jet scream and moan. People would walk past the door and hear, and they'd know just how responsive Freed could make his lover. Jet looked like a screamer, but he would need someone to coax it out of him. Freed could be the man who made that happen.

But not now. Not the first time. Not yet.

"Sofa," Freed demanded, husky. "Now."

He left enough space for Jet to slip out from the door, and said nothing else. Maybe he was testing to see if Jet was quick to argue the point in this mood, or if he had a more subservient side when in bed. Freed would be glad to see either, but knowing how Jet acted to a demand would help set the tone.

Jet saw his opening, grinned a naughty grin at Freed, him Freed on the lips, then slipped out and walked to the sofa. Only when Freed turned did he see Jet sitting on the arm of the sofa, smirking.

"This what you meant?" He asked, knowing that it wasn't. Cocky brat.

Hm. Freed had called him a brat before Jet had kissed him. Now he was looking at Freed, daring him to do something. Freed grinned. Perfect.

Shucking off his jacket and throwing it on the floor, Freed stormed over to the sofa. Jet tracked him, his amused and challenging expression never leaving. Freed placed a hand on Jet's chest and, without holding back on the force, shoved him. He was pushed onto the sofa cushions, legs still hooked over the arm, splayed out and ready for Freed. Freed climbed over him, knees either side of Jet's waist. He leant down, pressed the lightest of kisses he could manage onto Jet's lips, before smiling down at the wide eyes.

"Don't misbehave Jet," he warned. "I might like it too much."

He leant down, kissing and biting at Jet's collarbone, mercifully exposed from when Jet had ditched his tie and undone the top few buttons of his shirt. He could feel Jet writhing as his hands explored Jet's firm, strong body. A quick glance up as he secured a nasty love bite showed Jet looking down at him, a haze of pleasure overrunning him. Lovely. Brainless. Pliant.

Freed kissed him again, slowly grinding his crotch against Jet's. The whine, needy and ever so desperate, sent shivers down Freed's spine. He ground down further, feeling Jet's hard cock grind agains his own. Jet was big. Very big. The size of cock that might make a man cocky. Freed might have to put him in his place.

But not tonight. Tonight was instinct, not play, and instinct was screaming at Freed to make Jet cum.

Not breaking their kiss, Freed worked on Jet's fly first. The zipper was down and Freed plunged a hand into Jet's snug boxers, which had been tented with the monster erection. He pulled Jet's cock and balls out, gave a tentative slide of his hand over, and ate up the gasped 'fuck' with relish. Responsive and verbal. Lovely.

Freed was less elegant with pulling his own cock out, freeing it from his boxers and holding both of them in his hand. Jet had at least an inch more than Freed and fuck the thrill that sent down Freed was wonderful.

A hung, ripped, cocky man. Perhaps for some the perfect top. For Freed, the perfect plaything.

He brought his right hand up, pulled away from Jet's mouth just long enough to spit into his hand, then took both of their cocks again. He tugged them both, slow and languishing, thrusting his own hips into the groove while pinning Jet and stopping him from doing the same. He would be in control of all the pleasure tonight; he would give Jet what he deserved.

With precise and purposeful motivation, Freed attacked a spot on Jet's neck which would mark up beautiful. A hickey hard to hide, and harder to explain. Jet, a little pale and a little hairy, would be a wonderful canvas to mark. And he'd be so loud and desperate when he was doing it.

"Freed," Jet gasped.

"Like that?" Freed asked.

"Too much. Not ready to cum yet," Jet shuddered, and Freed mercifully removed his hand, looking down at his prize. Jet was ruffled beyond recognition, leaking cock bobbing in the cold air, hitting against Freed's. "I wanna suck you off and cum that way."

Oh. Oh this man was too much. "You do."

"Wanted to since day one," Jet shrugged. "Can I?"

Freed grinned. "Of course."

He shifted so that Jet could get out from under him, and Jet didn't even need to be told to get on his knees at the end of the sofa. Freed watched him, momentarily brainless at the sight of his ruffled employee on his knees, long dick leaking onto the hardwood floors, ready, willing and desperate for a cock down his throat. Freed shifted himself too, sitting on the sofa with legs spread, his own dick hard and glistening. He gave it a stroke or two, and Jet's eyes tracked the movement.

Jet leant in to take it in his mouth, but Freed raised a finger and Jet froze still. Slowly, with a false pretence of carelessness, Freed began to undo every button on his shirt. One by one they were undone, exposing his chest, abs and happy trail. He leant back and looked down at Jet.

"Why d'you do that?" Jet asked, though his juddering prick seemed to like it.

"Aesthetics," Freed grinned. He placed his hands behind his head, flexed his biceps, and looked down at Jet like a king looked down at a peasant. "Get on with it then."

Jet smirked. "Yes sir."

Freed had no time to relish that, because Jet was on his cock within a second. Fuck, a hot mouth and tight throat on his dick was wonderful. Jet might be a little out of practice, but he was damn good. The heat and the enthusiasm and the noises were magnificent, and Jet's tongue was a torturer and an angel all at once. Jet knew how to suck cock, and clearly loved it.

For a few seconds, Freed found himself boneless and unable to do anything but relish it. He could feel his toes curl, feel his blood burn, feel his back stick to his shirt with sweat. He could feel it all, and yet could do nothing but relish it.

"Stroke yourself," Freed demanded.

Jet did it, and that was what made this right. That was the small thing missing. Seeing Jet wrap his hand tight around his cock, jacking off without care for being watched was wonderful. There was nothing elegant or romantic or practiced about his movements. Jet was a man who wanted to cum over Freed's floor, and sucking Freed off was getting him close.

Encroaching orgasm burned up his body. Flew through his veins and set him aflame. He felt it coming, strong and shivering and all consuming. An orgasm that Freed would never forget.

He grabbed the back of Jet's head and held it in place, fucking his mouth with unrestrained need. The slurping and gagging and choking was downright sinful, and Jet wanked his cock faster and faster, and fuck that's what Freed needed. A cocky brat who loved getting face fucked and serving his better. Perfect. Wonderful. Obedient.

The groan came from deep inside of Freed, and hot wads of cum shot from Freed's dick just as overwhelming pleasure left him thoughtless. He could feel as Jet's throat worked to swallow it all, and fuck that was amazing.

He pulled his dick out just as the next shot of cum came, splattering it over Jet's face. It was thick and made Jet look beautiful. He blinked, and the cum on his eyelashes flew off, and Jet had never seen a man more radiant.

Wordlessly and breathlessly, they watched each other. Jet looked entirely fucked out, his office clothing a mess of rumples and cum stains. He glowed, and Freed found himself hypnotised by it. Freed's cock was semi hard still, covered in spit and cum, while Jet's had drooped to flaccid state, cum on the floor and on Freed's shoes. They noticed that at the same time, and the naughty look on Jet's face suggested that maybe that hadn't been an accident.

Jet, slowly and purposefully, ran a hand over his face and gathered up all of Freed's cum, before licking his palm clear. He never once looked away as he did it, and Freed knew he could bend Jet over his coffee table and fuck him right there. Jet would love it too. Freed knew it for sure.

"Jesus," Freed whispered, awestruck at the sight of the man.

"You got a shower in there, right?" Jet asked and nodded to the partially open bathroom door, voice hoarse and fucked. Freed nodded. "Big enough for two people?"

"Might, erm, might be a little snug," Freed breathed, weak and shuddering.

"Perfect," Jet grinned. He hopped up, tugged his shirt off over his head, and walked towards the bathroom. "Come on, Bossman. Let's get wet."

Never a more perfect offer had been made. Freed was quick to follow. He would follow Jet anywhere after a display of cock sucking, cum swallowing excellence, but a shower was perfect the best place he could think of.

Jet: wet, horny, bedraggled and insatiable. Freed was a lucky man indeed.

[tma-entity-song-poll]

Battle of the Fear Bands B1R1: The Spiral

Eating my Computer:

"It's genuinely a song written about a spiral episode of TMA. What more could you need?"

Slide into the void:

"Technically this song is about control (the game) but this is an incredibly spiral coded song. It has everything - the breakdown of the mind, of reality, mazes and fractals and dreams oh my."

Lyrics below the cut!

Eating my computer:

Hello, I see you wanted to talk It's been so cold, no, don't turn this off I've got something to show you A little video to get to know you The quality's not great but look! There's me Putting something in my mouth; it's a computer key I look at you sadly as I start to eat You didn't even wish me "bon appetit"

And I'm eating my computer Crunch, crunch, crunch Keyboard keys for breakfast, dinner, and lunch You see the red drip from my lips I call this snack computer chips Woah And I'm chewing up bits of the screen but it's glass So it's cutting into my throat as I swallow the mass Of crystal and the blood continues to fall I won't leave until you watch it all

You see me on every single screen This video is seventeen hours long Your power's running low (Oh) It's two a. m. and you open your phone For a moment you know you're alone in your home And then there's me, eating real slow

And I'm eating my computer Crunch, crunch, crunch Keyboard keys for breakfast, dinner, and lunch You see the red drip from my lips I call this snack computer chips Woah And I'm chewing up bits of the screen but it's glass So it's cutting into my throat as I swallow the mass Of crystal and the blood continues to fall I won't leave until you watch it all

I'm what you see on your screen But your friends can't see me What you feel isn't real These pixels can't be me A man trapped in a machine If there's a God, how could he be so mean

I'm what you see on your screen But your friends can't see me What you feel isn't real These pixels can't be me A man trapped in a machine If there's a God, how could he be so mean

I'm what you see on your screen But your friends can't see me What you feel isn't real These pixels can't be me A man trapped in a machine If there's a God, how could he be so mean

I'm what you see on your screen But your friends can't see me What you feel isn't real These pixels can't be me A man trapped in a machine If there's a God, how could he be so mean

And I'm eating my computer Crunch, crunch, crunch Keyboard keys for breakfast, dinner, and lunch You see the red drip from my lips I call this snack computer chips Woah And I'm chewing up bits of the screen but it's glass So it's cutting into my throat as I swallow the mass Of crystal and the blood continues to fall I won't leave until you watch it all

And I'm eating my computer Crunch, crunch, crunch Keyboard keys for breakfast, dinner, and lunch You see the red drip from my lips I call this snack computer chips Woah And I'm chewing up bits of the screen but it's glass So it's cutting into my throat as I swallow the mass Of crystal and the blood continues to fall I won't leave until you watch it all

And I'm collapsing onto my table I ate as much as I was able to Now it's time to say goodbye I give you a smile

Slide into the void:

You hear our words, but you forget Push your fingers through the surface to the wet We wait in the stains, we build you 'til nothing remains In the name of the sound of the name

Repeat the word. Repeat the word. Repeat the word Egg cracks and the truth will emerge A copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy You are home. You remind us. Happy. Hurt

At the edge of understanding, the border of the known The breaking point of reason, where logic is dethroned Where sense is defenceless and festers on the bone You'll find entropy's offensive is rendered in the stone

As you roam through the Oldest House Home to all that you weren't told about Trapped within a labyrinth, it goes without saying That we're praying that they don't get out

Prison for the isn't, sitting hinged within a schism Of half-reflected architecture, dark unending prisms Part objective, part conjecture, partnered with tradition Where the paperwork is worshipped and the rituals are written

When the Black Rock cracks and the Firebreak ends The Director is left as the line of defence When the Trenches have fallen to forces unknown Perhaps you should answer the phone

If you can't place the pin Where patterns end and you begin Follow the Director Else you're gonna slide into the void But if the world you knew Has cracked and fallen through Go to the Projector Load another slide into the void

There's the strangest correlation observation will present In the systems we can witness and the signals they have sent These forces yet unknowable, that ripple through cement Inscrutable intrusions. Altered World Events

Where reality cracks and impacts on the next Dimensions fragment and the Astral projects On benign, undefined, archetypal objects Until Ordinary's torn up, and normal defects

In effect, what you're left with are OoPs Objects of Power, a flying TV A light that can hijack your mind as you see A safe that's encased in a shield of debris

These frequencies are frequently the key to what's perceived to be And vis-à-vis are feeding off the reaches of the mind But recently, the sequence has repeated and repeated And it leaves me with the theory that they're trying to get inside

You hear our words, but you forget Push your fingers through the surface to the wet We wait in the stains, we build you 'til nothing remains In the name of the sound of the name (How do you say "insane"?)

Repeat the word. Repeat the word. Repeat the word Egg cracks and the truth will emerge A copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy You are home. You remind us. Happy. Hurt

If you can't place the pin Where patterns end and you begin Follow the Director Else you're gonna slide into the void But should your world collapse And fall right off the maps Go to the Projector Load another slide into the void

The Director is the Bureau's one connection to the Board Obey the mighty Bakelite and file your reports Telephony in effigy must never be ignored So if you hear a ringing, you had better pull the cord

And explore the décor of the Oceanview Where the doors only open for a chosen few Check your logic at the desk, you won't need it to progress A dream is just a test to be broken through

Like the smoke entombed in the rooms of the ashtray Furniture fractals, the carpet cascades Lost in a labyrinth of lounge chairs and lampshades Wallpaper warps into infinite pathways

There's no limit to the dangers of phenomenon we keep Or the chaos that would reign should the Panopticon be breached This never-ending edifice is perched upon the precipice Since we let in the Resonance, the future's under siege

If you can't place the pin Where patterns end and you begin Follow the Director Else you're gonna slide into the void But if you see the seams Where motels meld with dreams Go to the Projector Load another slide into the void

I've analyzed the data, I've catalogued the signs Run every simulation, every sample I can find I'd give an explanation, but we haven't got the time We're drowning in the waveforms and our minds are in the tide

Of elegant malevolence, sequestered in the Resonance Nesting in the head of every denizen Tell me, is it heaven-sent? Is the Devil even relevant? When questioning the presence of dimensional intelligence?

Thresholds unfold as a door that knocks In the ticking, in the ticking, in the ticking of the clocks We are holding the key, we just don't see the locks Paradise and parasite, in parallel, in paradox

We stand on a mantle where matter divides To abstractive fractures that tangle and writhe Through cracks in reality, trapped in a slide Such intangible sanctuary Hedron provides

Breaking the first, the second, the third The fourth wall, fifth wall, no floor, you fall Earworm humming in a dream Baby, baby, baby, yeah. Just plastic

You want to listen You want to dream You want to smile You want to hurt You don't want to be

You want to listen You want to dream You want to smile You want to hurt You don't want to be

If you can't place the pin Where patterns end and you begin Follow the Director Else you're gonna slide into the void But should your towers fall Free your mind and heed the call Go to the Projector Load another slide into the void